Faith and Mental Health, in My Own Voice, Journey to Healing, Recovering Humanity, Thorn In My Side

Story time: This Birthday Felt Different

This week has been a true roller coaster. It started with canceled plans and me canceling plans. An almost missed prayer call because I shut down and deleted my social media pages. And, spending most of the day in bed, feeling extremely blah. And this was all on the first!
When I woke up yesterday, it was not with the usual joy that I have when I wake up on Nov. 4th. Something was different. Something felt different. I didn’t have the drive to get up and celebrated. I was not motivated to make the day about me. I was just meh. No plans. No birthday text tone. No birthday ringtone. Nothing. It was just another day. I rarely responded to messages, hitting the “love” or “HaHa” button, but I wasn’t feeling very happy, so that’s the most anyone got, if they received anything at all.
It was not until I began to get dressed that my mood began to lift, and before I knew it, I was getting into the birthday mood. I put on my cute top and Munchkin and I were out matching shoes. I stopped at the store and bought a birthday pin and sash and picked up a cake and a free surprise mini birthday cake. The girl’s and I rocked out to The Wiz Live, and I made an appointment at the spa. By the time lunch was done, I was more relaxed than I was that morning, and I laid in the serenity room of the spa until it was time for my manicure. I left the spa feeling good and stopped at Target, where I ran into a friend.
It was time for Bible Study and the outpouring of love felt good. We had a good time, laughing and learning, and when it was done, I caught the last inning of Munchkin’s softball game, where she was walked and stole bases all the way home, making the final point and play for the game.
When I came home, I sat in the car and reflected on the day. It was not what I wanted. And, I still never fully got into the birthday celebration. But, there were 100s of you (some of you multiple times) who thought it not robbery to send positive, good, funny vibes and blessings my way. And, I know it was because of you that I was able to stop the spiral and enjoy the parts that I did.
So I thank each and EVERY one of you who took the time to write the words Happy Birthday (and more). I thank you for your prayers because they were and are needed. I thank you for the tokens of love and the encouragement! I thank you that for the couple minutes of your day that you gave to me, so I could feel special and loved! And, I ESPECIALLY thank my family who got me out the house, took me to lunch, and gave me a gift to do something for myself!
I still don’t feel much like celebrating, and this birthday season still feels different. But, I’m grateful for the start of a new rotation around the sun and the blessings that will come along the way!

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