Why Am I Like This?!

“Why am I like this?!” is the phrase that plays over and over in my head.

“Why am I like this?!” is the phrase I hear when I think of being alone.

“Why am I like this?!” is the phrase that sounds when I think of canceled plans.

“Why am I like this?!” is the phrase that repeats when I think of where I am in life.

Today is my birthday,

But, it doesn’t feel like it.

Like most years,

Others things are taking precedence.

The focus is on the election results.

Who will be the next president?

Then there’s work and family and life obligations.

Which I’m not saying aren’t important.

I just want to feel important too.

But, “Why am I like this?!”

It’s only 8:31.

That’s 8:31 in. the. morning.

People may not be up yet.

They may not have even looked at their phone.

How dare I think I’m important enough to be on someone’s mind this early in the morning.

The arrogance.

The nerve.

The self-absorbedness.

It’s not about me.

Everything is not about me.

Everything cannot be about me.

Other people have lives that don’t revolve around me.

So how dare I get an attitude and be crappy towards people?!

Especially when they have their own stuff going on?!

“Why am I like this?!”

Why do I think I’m special?!

Why do I deserve more than what I’m given?!

I need to learn to be grateful.

Be content with what I have

(and don’t have for that matter)

I’m not special.

I’m not a priority.

I simply need to get over myself.

So, I can stop being like this!