Faith and Mental Health, in My Own Voice, Journey to Healing, Recovering Humanity, Thorn In My Side

How Do You Know You’re Bitter?!

How do you know you’re bitter?!

When you talk about something or someone and your emotions go from 0 to 1000.

How do you know you’re bitter?!

When you read or see something, and you automatically become angry.

How do you know you’re bitter?!

When you only see the negative.

How do you know you’re bitter?!

When you’re unable to see the positive.

But, what causes bitterness?

What causes such deep level of pain?

What causes the spew of disdain?

What causes the anger and resentment?

Maybe it’s the hurt that was experienced

Or the unjust treatment.

May it’s the unpleasant acceptance of a painful situation.

Maybe it’s the intensely cold way one was treated.

Or, maybe it’s a deep sense of grief, regret, or shame.

What causes one to be bitter?

What causes one to be angry or resentful?

Maybe it’s facing something that’s hard to bear.

Or, maybe it’s simply being invisible…

Going unnoticed…

Or, Being disregarded…

Based on my definition, I guess I’m bitter.

I guess I’m angrier than I thought.

I guess it hurts more than I let on.

I guess I’m still holding on more than I realized.

So what do I do with all this resentment?

Where do I put all this rage?

Do I shove it away and hope it stays buried?

Or, do I pray it away and hope it disappears?

Or, do I sit with it, in deep reflection?

Questioning if I’m even justified to be bitter?

Whatever I do, I need to start quickly.

My relationship depends on it.

So does my life.

Whatever it is that caused bitterness…

Whatever it is that caused so much pain…

I hope for relief and release soon

Before bitterness takes me out.

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